Protecting

20/02/2022

How does overly protecting self affect life and leadership? Those who have a high need for protection may not ask themselves this question.

When we look at creating a need for safety, we first (1) seek acceptance and recognition from others and  we enter into relationships to meet our needs. Adolescents and children need approval from their parents, and then from their peers and other social groups in which they become members. Later, we can (2) move towards establishing our self-esteem and self-worth by affirming that we are quite good at our successes, or by proving to the world how great, good, fast, best we are. However, if none of these ways is enough to make us feel valuable and safe - or we don't think we have the opportunity to be like that - we may (3) need to reatreat into our shell.

Protecting, which in Leadership Circle Profile™️ consists of distance, critical and arrogance allow us to build self-esteem based on intellect, emotional distance and emotional independence. We stay away, we don't reveal ourselves, we don't get attached to people. It is safer that way. The paradox is that the more we want and need people and the world, the less we show it by building distance, inaccessibility, showing up aloof. The more we feel the need for relationship and contact, the more we show our independence, separateness and even superiority. An additional resource in our way of being can be criticism, and even arrogance. We are able to explain everything to ourselves rationally, up to the end of rationality.

Working to understand why we protect ourselves and whether it serves us is usually difficult, perhaps even the most difficult when looking at all reactive tendiencies. When we protect ourselves, we may not get involved in relationships, including professional ones, we may feel bad in a group or team, we may be "above it all", we may lose interest in others, we remain self-sufficient, or rather we want to be like that. The hardest part is that we move away from the world, and maybe some parts of ourselves.

How does this relate to leadership and life? Those who have a high need for protection may not ask themselves this question.

If you want to grow and raise self-awareness you may wish to visit Diagnostics and Coaching.